


These words.

by Everydayishark



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9338312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Everydayishark/pseuds/Everydayishark
Summary: Wherein Hyunwoo says too little, and Minhyuk says too much.





	

Hyunwoo isn’t great with words. He never was. From a young age he’s just too awkward, too quiet, too shy. He doesn’t have many friends growing up, except for Hoseok, the kid next door, who doesn’t want to build high things with Lego because heights scare him even if they’re not really high.

Hyunwoo isn’t lonely. He has Hoseok. But sometimes he wishes he had more.

He hopes college will be different. He hopes that being surrounded by like-minded people, he will finally be able to connect. He wants to join a community. He wants to finally be a part of something. He wants to find friends.

Instead he falls in love.

Lee Minhyuk is everything that he’s not. Energetic. Talkative. Extroverted. _Beautiful._ His smile lights up the room. He’s always the center of attention, surrounded by friends. Beloved by many. He’s sweet, and he’s funny, and Hyunwoo falls for him from the moment he sees him.

But Hyunwoo doesn’t dare talk to him. He withers in comparison to this bright, beautiful sunshine.

College isn’t different. Maybe because Hyunwoo isn’t different. He’s still too awkward, too quiet, too shy. He doesn’t join a club, because he doesn’t know how to approach people, so he spends his free time in his room.

Hyunwoo isn’t lonely. He has Hoseok. But sometimes he wishes he had more.

 It takes him nearly two years to muster up the courage to talk to Minhyuk (only after multiple threats from Hoseok does he manage to say hi when they stand next to each other in line for the cafeteria).

For Minhyuk, talking is his second nature (or maybe his first. Hyunwoo doesn’t know). It all just rolls off his tongue easily, in great speeds and with all the right words and feelings. Minhyuk always knows what to say.

Minhyuk likes Hyunwoo. He may be quiet, and awkward, and shy, but he’s also secretly really funny, in a dry kind of way, and he’s the most attentive listener.  They become friends. Most of the times, Minhyuk talks, and Hyunwoo listens. Hyunwoo doesn’t mind. Just being close to Minhyuk, just being his friend is more than he ever imagined he would be.

(No matter how fast his heart beats each time Minhyuk’s hand accidentally brushes his. No matter how hard it is to breathe when Minhyuk sits close to him.)

Hyunwoo isn’t great with words. He doesn’t voice his concerns, his fears, his emotions. He struggles to put his feelings for Minhyuk into words, so for the longest time, he says nothing. They are friends, but to both parties’ discontent, it doesn’t turn into something more.

Minhyuk wants it to be more, but he’s afraid he’ll say too much, and scare Hyunwoo away. Hyunwoo wants it to be more, but he doesn’t know how to say it, so he doesn’t say anything at all. They dance around it, silently, the tension between them rising until one of them snaps.

It’s Minhyuk. (He doesn’t want to say too much)

Of course it’s Minhyuk. (He always says too much)

He’s wasted out of his mind, and he’s yelling, and the (too long unspoken) words just come spilling out of him.

It’s a Friday night, and they celebrate the end of mid-terms, and Minhyuk gets drunk on cheap beer and cropped up feelings and he just wants to kiss Hyunwoo and get it over with, get it out on the table.

Hyunwoo drinks a  few beers but he doesn’t drink too much (he is always the responsible one). He watches Minhyuk and he just wants to kiss him, wants to tell him how much he loves him and how he wants to be together, more-than-friends-together, but he doesn’t know how to say it.

The evening is quiet, too quiet, because when Minhyuk stops talking the loaded silence suddenly becomes glaringly obvious.

Minhyuk slams down his beer. (Too hard, shit, it spills over his hands and pretty sure it got on his favorite shirt)

“ _Fuck_. Hyunwoo.”

Words. So many words. And yet none of them sound right.

“Don’t you…..” His voice sounds desperate, too desperate, but he can’t seem to care, “Don’t you like me?” He rakes his fingers through his hair. Suddenly his skin feels too tight, and his face is on fire, and he’s aware his voice is awfully loud and the bar suddenly is awfully quiet.

He’s yelling. Nice things. Awful things. Everything just comes pouring out. Things he means, and things he doesn’t mean, and things he wishes he never said. Mean things. Terrible things.

He’ll be embarrassed about it the next day. He’ll feel guilty, and ashamed, and heartbroken the next morning, when he remembers all these things.

But right now he’s yelling, yelling at his best friend, yelling at the man he is in love with, yelling at the man who just can’t seem to understand.

Can’t seem to say the words.

(I love you, Minhyuk. I need you, Minhyuk. I want to be with you, Minhyuk.)

The words are in his heart, and on his lips, but he can’t seem to say them, still.

Minhyuk leaves. He’s angry, and he’s drunk, and he can’t find his way back to the dorms so he comes back to Hyunwoo.

(because in the end, he always comes back to Hyunwoo)

(Hyunwoo brings him home, silently, looking down at the ground, and Minhyuk hates him for it. He hates him for being so nice to him even after the horrible things he has said to him. He hates him for being so _fucking_ polite and yet so terribly distant after pouring out his heart.)

He hates him because he’s drunk and Hyunwoo is not and he wishes for once he would just let go.

Hyunwoo doesn’t let go.

Not yet. Not now.

Hyunwoo comes by, the next day, and he’s quieter than usual.

“Did you mean all of those things that you said yesterday?” He asks softly, sitting on the edge of Minhyuk’s bed while Minhyuk lies face-down in his pillow (the light hurts. The memory of last night hurts. His heart hurts).

Minhyuk stays quiet, for a long time.

“Yes. And no. I said a lot of things I never meant to say. Things that weren’t right. Things that weren’t true…” He says, his voice barely a whisper.

He feels Hyunwoo shift on the bed.

“So your feelings for me…. They weren’t true?”

Minhyuk is too afraid to answer. He is too afraid he has ruined their friendship forever by crossing a line that should never have been crossed. He is too afraid Hyunwoo will never want to see him again.

He is too afraid to say anything.

Suddenly, the weight on the bed is gone.

Suddenly, Hyunwoo is gone. And Minhyuk cannot bear the thought. He cannot bear the thought of a life without Hyunwoo. He cannot bear the thought of Hyunwoo hating him, because he was a coward, because he said too much and yet never said enough.

He jumps up, catches Hyunwoo by the wrist as he is about to leave the room.

“Wait, please.”

Minhyuk shoots forward, kissing Hyunwoo on the lips and it’s desperate and sad and full of regret, and he thinks Hyunwoo will push him away any moment now but instead Hyunwoo kisses back, draws him in and doesn’t let go.

Hyunwoo isn’t great with words. He never was. But his actions speak louder than any words ever could, and his actions say _I love you, Minhyuk, I need you Minhyuk, I want to be with you Minhyuk._

(He does, eventually, say the words. Whispered repeatedly into Minhyuk’s ear as he holds him in his arms. Sung to him, on a lazy Sunday afternoon spent in bed. Moaned into the skin of his back as they make love for the first time.)

He does, eventually, say the words. Holding his hands, in church, as he slides the ring onto his finger. He says them out loud, in front of a whole bunch of people, and for the first time in his life his voice isn’t shaky or quiet, and he’s never been surer of any words he’s ever said.

_I love you, Minhyuk._

_I need you, Minhyuk._

_I want to be with you, Minhyuk._

**Author's Note:**

> Hello I'm supposed to sleep so of course I'm writing.  
> Love Showhyuk my beautiful awkward children.  
> <3  
> \--  
> Come join the [MX bingo](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/MXbingo)!


End file.
